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The Wiseguy’s Basic Rules of Gambling

  1. Never ever gamble if you can’t afford to lose the money you’re betting.
  2. Always know the rules – all of them.
  3. The guy next to you is a gambling idiot – and so are you.
  4. Once you are ahead three betting units, never ever leave the table a loser.
  5. When the going gets tough, the tough double down.
  6. If you are losing, quit. No one makes you play.
  7. Decide before you play whether you are there to win or have fun.
  8. Taking a break and paying for a drink is a whole lot cheaper than drinking a free one while playing thru a losing streak.
  9. There is no system that consistently beats the house, no holy grail of gambling. Just the same, if you know of a good one, let me know.
  10. I wish I had a nickel for every time I won a dollar in a casino.
  11. No matter what the odds, no matter how many times the horse has lost before, do not fail to place a bet on the nose of number four.
  12. The only problem with drinking as I see it is that the gossips will wait until die and say that whiskey done it.
  13. I know in Blackjack whether you decide to take another card or not does not influence my winning or losing, in the long run. Just the same, if you play like an idiot, I’m leaving ya.
  14. You can’t run with the Texas big dogs if you pee like a puppy.
  15. In poker: no balls, no blue chips.
  16. Shut up and deal!
  17. If you have to count your money at the table, you shouldn’t be playing in the first place.

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